Women are longing for and loving sex.  YES THEY ARE!  Well…not all women of course but most of them.  Women produce and watch porn, they gather at passion parties where sex toys sell like Tupperware hot cakes, and they are casting aside inhibitions and enjoying their sex lives.

Fun with plastic has come a long way

A few months ago two fantastic moms (that would be us) joined forces to build a website where women, and men for that matter, such as ourselves, middle-aged, not all that kinky but certainly super-sexual could feel comfortable shopping for sex toys and sex-essories.  Feeling like insects in the glare of a science lab while shopping at most of the available stores and websites we found, out of our utter discomfort, GoBackToBed.com was born.

February 6^th is THE LAUNCH PARTY to celebrate Go Back to Bed.

Traditionally, a launch party has become associated with the software and the technology industry due to the lavish and costly launch parties thrown by companies in the Silicon Valley. Launch parties are thrown to draw in potential new customers and to increase public exposure for their brand name, using an open bar, catered food, and a variety of entertainers. Most launch parties represent a substantial investment for the company, with some parties costing as much as 250,000 US Dollars (USD).  This is not exactly that type of party!

First and foremost…you all need to know that this is not…I REPEAT NOT a sex toy sales party.  You want sex toys you need to shop on our web site www.gobacktobed.com.  This is a celebratory BASH simply to thank all of our friends and fans for helping us launch a successful business, and to let you know a little bit about who the faces are behind Go Back to Bed, how the company works, and why we are different.

The night will be full of rockin good music provided by Seattle’s own ‘Reckon Yard’.

Monk, founder of Twisted Monk will be our very special guest performing erotic rope bondage, as you have probably never imagined it before.  He will dish out something for the beginner as well as the not-so-faint-at-heart, and we think you will leave with some new ideas.

We will ply you with decadent desserts, luscious libations, fantastic giveaways and the always anticipated, gift bags…

Anyone for a ginger ale?

Thank you devoted friends, fans, bloggers and shoppers.  Please join us in the celebrating the success of our new company.  This party is for you!

The Moms (aka: “Sex Kitty” and “Miss September”)

If you have not already RSVP’d please do so at info@gobacktobed.com

This past summer, I was asked to help plan a friend’s 40^th birthday party.   I have planned many successful parties over the years, so what could possibly go wrong?

Not all blow up dolls are created equally

“Hey, I think it would be great if we had some blow up dolls in the pool”

How difficult can it be to buy a blow-up doll?

1. I head down to Lover’s Package and park my car in a spot that I am certain won’t be seen by anyone that is driving past the mall.
2. I quickly run into the store, so I’m not spotted by anyone in the parking lot or by anyone driving by.
3. I enter the store and immediately realize I am being video-taped and all chances of a political career are quickly thrown aside.  Forget the fact I’ve inhaled and cheated in school, this videotape has just sealed the deal.

WOW – The store is a neon nightmare!  It’s a purple and pink, flashing, pulsating, silicone injected wonderment.

This is the conversation that took place within seconds of my entrance to the store:

Sales Assistant:  “Hi.  Can I help you find anything?”
Me: “I am looking for a blow up doll”. (GULP)

Sales Assistant:  “Any specific kind of blow up doll?”
Me: “There are different types?”

Sales Assistant:  “We carry over 25 different dolls up front & more deluxe dolls in back”
Me: “OH, DEAR GOD”

Indeed, there were over 25 different types of blow up dolls to choose from; all nationalities were represented.  All shapes and sizes of women and men.  Dolls with multiple and various holes; animal dolls.

I phoned a friend.

I walked around the store. God knows, I was already being filmed.

• LUBES
• VIBES
• ANAL TOYS
• CONDOMS
• COCK RINGS
• DILDOS & DONGS
• STRAP-ONS
• LINGERIE
• KINK
• VIDEOS
• NOVELTY ITEMS

I phoned a friend.

I have said this before, and I will say it again until you all believe me,  I AM NOT A PRUDE.  I HAVE MY OWN STASH OF SEX TOYS…. but really….I was simply overwhelmed and scared.  Where does one begin?  Where is the intimacy and privacy of purchasing adult sex accoutrements in a place that flashes like a video game arcade?

I was exhausted.  I needed a nap.  I purchased the dolls.    I bought 2 dolls, with 3 holes.    They cost $39.99 each.

Discussing my SEX TOY shopping experience with a good friend, while laughing our arses off, we identified the various commercial options available for women who want to buy sex toys.  Realizing we felt like insects in the glare of a science lab while shopping at adult stores and turned off by websites we found. What if we created an option where women, such as ourselves, could feel comfortable shopping for sex toys and other sexessories?

Out of our pure discomfort, GoBackToBed.com was born.

As a woman owned business, we want to ensure that our adult pleasure market supports mothers, daughters, wives, divorcees, heterosexuals, bisexuals, and lesbians.  Whether single or married, shy or adventurous, kinky or sweet, we believe you will love the change we are bringing to the market of sexual liberation.  As two moms who believe in self-satisfaction, feeling SEXY, and the importance of an  incredible sex life (with and without a partner), we invite everyone to TAKE CONTROL of  INTIMATE NEEDS and DESIRES.  Doesn’t everyone deserve that? We believe in Girl Power, being Fabulous, and having FANTASTIC sex.

Most importantly,

we believe in privacy to express yourself as you want

so we developed our site

with the
STRICTEST CONFIDENTIALITY POSSIBLE.
WE DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU DO BEHIND CLOSED DOORS
OR WHAT YOU BUY ON OUR SITE

AND WE DEFINITELY DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU DO

WHEN YOU

GO BACK TO BED.

So, I came across a product a few weeks back that pretty much, blew my mind.  I told my “partner-in-fun” about it and she felt I needed write a blog.

“NO WAY!” I said.

“Oh, you HAVE to put your spin on it!” she said.

“NO WAY! I said

This went on for a week. Finally, I’ve relented, and now bring you…VULVA.

http://www.smellmeand.com/en/
(Not necessarily work appropriate…)

Did you click on the link?  I know you clicked on the link…

Marketed as a “beguiling vaginal scent” this is not a perfume or cologne.  No, this is purely a substance for your personal smelling pleasure. Breathe in and enjoy, anytime.

Scents and Sensibility?

WHAT?  Who in the world came up with this, and for what reason?

Of course I had to investigate, partially because I own a sex toy company (I love saying that) and because I am totally freaking out about this.  It turns out, eau de panties is the German addition to the sexual revolution.  The British, Japanese and Australians are the front runners in the sex toy market and I can only assume the Germans were feeling that they were lagging behind, so decided to bottle the scent of a woman’s crotch.

“Die Männer Liebe zu Geruch eine Frau’s Vulva ”

Did you open the link?  Come on, you opened the link…it’s like a bad car wreck, you just have to see what’s going on.

VULVA is a legit business.  This is NOT a Saturday Night Live skit.  This is NOT some weird ass German avant garde project.  This is for all intents and purposes, a viable business.

Packaged luxuriously in classic mini glass vials for 24,90 Euros = 35,89335 U.S. dollars. (NOT A TYPO ON MY PART) Gentlemen, you can purchase a male masturbator enhancer, dab a drop of VULVA on your hand, grab your Fleshlight, and get the party started.

So we wonder: How realistic is the smell?  Who uses this stuff? How about that price?  Won’t a pair of panties do the trick?

I have so many questions, and feel really dirty having so many questions. I own a sex toy company and generally don’t feel too dirty about things!

Why would you want the smell of vulva on your hand? Do all vulvas smell similar? Will a generic vulva do the trick?

Investigating further, I read the warning information about VULVA.

• Do not insert or introduce into any body orifice or opening.
• Should not have any contact with any mucous membrane.

Ok. So, let me see if I have this straight.  You have this potion, dab it on, and touch yourself …but you can’t go near your orifice? Seems to defeat the purpose.

Where does this smell come from?  Is it created in a lab?  Are there volunteers who donate their vulva juice? Just because you love a certain smell: a steak for instance …mmmmmm. Mesquite chicken …mmmmm. Flame broiled hamburger …mmmmmm. A vulva …mmmmm. Do you really want to smell like any of them?

Let’s assume there really is something to this whole “vulva odor, kinky, turn me on, enjoy the fragrance” idea.  That in fact VULVA works.  Can we, for just a moment, talk about the web site?

I am the first to admit that I enjoy looking at erotic photos, but these promotional shots just give me the creeps.  I am not certain if they are meant to be soft core porn, but the women in them are really tough.  They could kick your ass! They are huge, and stand in poses with boxes of VULVA in front of their vulvas, and quite frankly they scare me! …The whole experience just scares me.  I know, I am not the target audience, but I have showed it to a few men and they agreed, the web site was “odd” and packaged vulva did not “peak” their interest. (LIARS).

I think the whole idea bodes well for the common woman who may worry she can’t compete with the more “advanced” male masturbator products on the market.  Rest assured ladies! Your man still loves the scent of your personal perfume, mixed with a little meatloaf …and carefully dabbed behind your ears.

Under Development: VULVA Original will soon be complemented by two new exciting fragrances… EIGHTEEN and EXOTIC.

O-M-G! That’s all I have to say.

“SEX is the Chicken Soup of the 21st Century”

He hem.  Hello?

“Is this thing on?  We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming to bring you a very special message.”

I was talking with a friend who was having a really crappy day.  You know one of those days where the kids tell you that they hate you, your spouse has the “man flu”, and the dog insists on humping the couch.  My friend ends the phone conversation by telling me that she is going to put some new batteries in her vibrator and make herself feel better.  I say,  “Well sure, an orgasm cures what ails ya”.

And that is when it hit me….“SEX is the Chicken Soup of the 21st Century”

Research has proven that SEX:

• Relieves stress
• Boosts immunity
• Improves cardiovascular health
• Burns calories
• Boosts self-esteem
• Improves intimacy
• Help you sleep better
• Calms your cravings for junk food
• Relieves pain
• Reduces the risk of prostate cancer
• Strengthens pelvic floor muscles which reduces risk of incontinence
• Makes you smile

My Jewish grandmother is smiling from her grave.

I think what we have created here at Go Back to Bed is our own little Chicken Soup Mission – the opportunity to create a healthier you!  To help women and men in their quest for better living by sexier living.  Positive change through coupling and diddling to create greater happiness & success.  We know this stuff works because in our own lives, searching for more constant consistent methods to create happiness we have come across a solution that works wonders:

Vibrators

An orgasm can turn any crappy ole’ day into marvelous splendor.  So next time you’re having ONE OF THOSE DAYS change your outlook. Be prepared.  Stock up on some chicken stock and some AA’s.

A new Facebook craze swept the social networking site, where woman give details of their bra color to help raise awareness for breast cancer.  Status updates ranged from the ever boring “beige” to the sexier “hot pink” and “crimson red” to the provocative “sexy black and gold”.  I reported in with “navy blue with white polka dots”.

This got me thinking about my panties.  My lin­gerie drawer is a rainbow of colors and textures and of won­der and mys­tery.

These are some hot panties

I have just recently found a reason to become a thong girl.  Is that the same thing as a G-string or a V-string as it is called at Victoria Secret?  I’ve got pretty cot­ton thongs in ice cream colors for days when I want to feel sexy for myself, but I still want to feel com­fort­able and func­tional and a few pair of fancier thongs with rib­bon and lace for those times when I have some­one to impress.  I’ve got hip-hug­ger panties which sit low for days when I wear low cut jeans and I’ve got boy shorts that I like to sleep in on hot sum­mer nights when it’s too hot for any­thing but a tank top and panties. I’ve got panties in comfy cot­ton, silk and lace and panties in mate­r­ials which form-fit to my ass and hips and aren’t sup­posed to show under­neath cloth­ing. A girl’s gotta have her secrets.

I’ve got bikini under­pants that I think are now referred to as “granny panties” though I saw my grandma in her panties many many times and she was not sporting anything as sexy as my “granny panties”.  I’ve got panties that I wear when I go running, and panties that I wear under sweats when I go to the grocery.  I’ve got the “just in case” panties that are hiding at the back of the drawer hoping for one last dance – there they are with their saggy bot­toms and stretched out elas­tic, but I keep them around “just in case”.  There are panties that match bras and panties that don’t.  There are panties that you wear with a garter belt but I don’t do that because I have not figured out how to do that.  I have panties that were given to me as a gift, and panties that I spent way too much money on and that I am now afraid to wear.  It only takes a few minutes before they are tossed on the floor.  These are some of my favorites.

Some­times when I am folding the laundry for the “boys” in the house I pause and sigh.  Men’s underwear is boring.  Dull.  White, gray or black.  Perhaps a primary color.  Boxers or briefs.  In our house we have the boxer brief.  That’s it.  Nothing to get excited about.  Poor guys.

I love my panties.

Elvis Presley would have been 75 today.

Would he still be as sexy today as he was back in his heyday?
That is a question best left to your imagination I think.

To paraphrase the lyrics of Elvis

♫♫♪♪♫♫Sometimes I need you to ‘Love me Tender’, but today I need to be ‘All Shook Up’, and we always have to ‘GO BACK TO BED’. ♪♪♫♪♫

Happy birthday to THE KING.

NOT A SEX TOY. AND DEFINITELY NOT THE EZ RIDER….  Your favorite childhood toy has gone and sprung a penis! You get the idea…

Considering reviews for the blog- I must freely admit, thus far, this one has been my personal favorite! In fact, I love, LOVE, love it so much, I gave one to each of my girlfriends for Christmas. #nufsaid.

How can one not appreciate a sex toy that looks so incredibly gratifying? Admittedly, even at first glance, the EZ Rider Ball does look like one just might receive his/her money’s worth; it’s really quite A LOT of sex toy.

Initially, my primary concern was just where in a home, does one keep an inflatable dildo ball? Do I use it as a new office chair? Do I keep it in the home gym? Can I place it next to the chaise lounge and use it as a side table (with the dildo down, of course, it appears to be quite stable).

But upon arrival, I learned the dildo is easily removable, meaning I can perhaps store the dildo in my “dresser drawer” and camouflage the inflatable ball as a mere toddlers toy, hoping that no actual kiddies visit and begin playing with it, because that would just be wrong. However, not many adult women keep any type of inflatable toy balls around, so it would still be a bit suspicious, and besides, it is flesh-colored.

Hmmm. What to do? WHAT TO DO?

The other option would be to not only detach the dildo but also deflate the ball every time I store the E-Z Rider Ball, which means I’d have to blow it back up every time I wanted to use it, (not generally a suitable “mood-setting” activity). Even if you’re just trying to treat yourself right, no one wants to stop and inflate their E-Z ball (or worse yet, pull out the bike pump).

IMPORTANT DETAILS:

The Ball. Happily, I discovered the ball itself was not as BIG as one might think. Easily made incognito, it inflates easily (in a few seconds) and deflates just as easily. Someone clearly thought about the hassle, timeframe, and ease in which to be situated quickly!

The Dildo. Now that’s another story. Happily, I discovered the dildo itself is not as SMALL as one might think. The well hung, sporting penis, vacuum locks and seals, is perfectly firm, erect, realistic, and pure penis perfection.

“DEAR GOD, it’s lovely”.

In all sincerity, you’re going to want this baby available more often than not….

I suppose you could just store the whole damn thing upright in a closet, ready for action. Maybe toss a sweater over it.

I went to the movies today.  I saw “A Single Man” with Colin Firth.  I did not attend the movie with Colin Firth, that would simply be too much to ask from the Gods above.  He stars in the movie and is breathtakingly magnificent in his performance.  If you are not familiar with the movie it is directed by fashion designer Tom Ford and is set in Los Angeles in 1962 and tells the story of George Falconer, a British college professor who is struggling to find meaning in his life after the death of his long-time partner, Jim.  The movie follows George through a single day during which he plans to kill himself.

This is not a movie review, although TWO THUMBS UP….RUN OUT AND SEE THIS FILM…OSCAR WORTHY PERFORMANCE BY COLIN FIRTH!!!!!!!!!!

This is a post about how blessed we are to be allowed to freely love whomever we want to love.  If you take this gift for granted then SHAME ON YOU!  You can love a man, or a woman, or both, and you can do it openly.  More importantly, if something happens to that lover you can care for that person or mourn for them openly and honestly.  That is a true FREEDOM!

In “A Single Man” the character George does not struggle with his sexuality.  He is a homosexual man and while he is not openly gay, this is not a film about questioning oneself.  Refreshing for a period movie!  His struggles are with the loss of his lover; his life partner.  George is not allowed to show his grief because in 1962 it was not acceptable to be in a homosexual relationship.

46 years later in the year 2010 we have made some tremendous progress on the “love-front”.  However our culture is still hung-up on how we mix love and sex and what some may call “dirty sex”.  I know people who shudder at the mere suggestion of bondage in the bedroom and could never imagine how such an experience could ever be loving.  Many people “love” anal sex and don’t have to be forced to bend over and take it in the ass for someone they love.  (I say that very tongue in cheek).   Bringing sex toys into the bedroom does not mean that you no longer love your partner and need to fill the void with batteries.  For those looking to expand their sexual repertoire and improve their sex life dramatically the subjects of strap-ons, female ejaculation, erotica, S&M, and sex toys are the new taboo talk.

One of the many reasons my partner and I started GO BACK TO BED was to offer women the opportunity to feel empowered in our lives and enjoy the type of sex that we, as women, want to have.  To feel that we can pleasure ourselves, and our partners, in a way that leaves us hanging off of the side of the bed panting- WITHOUT feeling uncomfortable shopping on a website or in a store that is full of silicone boobs and neon flashing dildos.   Face it, that is just not sexy.  Colin Firth is sexy.  Freedom to love and have sex with whomever you want, that is sexy.  Going back to bed in the middle of the day, …THAT is sexy.

I have made no shortage of mistakes.   I have crossed too many lines.   I have spoken too bluntly, laughed too loudly, desired too freely,  and certainly said too many things that I shouldn’t.

But the more I trust myself to enjoy those parts of me that are sparkly and inappropriate, the more rope I allow myself to wander – the more I find myself satisfied with who I am.

I hope that this coming year will find you happier, healthier, maybe wealthier (if you don’t have enough), and certainly wiser.  I hope you’ll take care of yourselves and your loved ones.  I hope you’ll find stronger relationships, or strengthen the ones you’re in.

Most importantly,  I hope you all have more sex.  Sex that is fun, funny, fantastic, freakish, fabulous and safe.

HAPPY 2010!

Tis the season for the requisite company holiday party.

You know the one… bad food, garish Christmas ties and one too many hands on your ass.

A quick story about an office holiday party gone way, way, WAY bad, and a few survival tips to get you through yours, unscathed.

Imagine if you will,  an office party  set in a cool downtown work loft.  About 40 -50 people, young, hip, cool, well-dressed urban professionals, drinking, eating and enjoying the twinkling urban lights through floor to ceiling windows.

Flash forward to 2:00 am. Tequila is STILL flowing …directly into open mouths. Music is blaring and someone’s rolling those “funny” cigarettes.  Dresses are hiked up, shirts are open, sweat is mingling.  Flash forward to 3:30 am …Holy shit! People are not leaving…who the hell is going to clean this mess???  Who are those people on the pool table????  Who is that yummy dark man in the corner with his shoes off?????  5:00 am, …DEAR GOD.

1. DO NOT MAKE-OUT WITH THE HOT CO-WORKER, or for that matter any co-worker. You both have to show up for work the next day, and as hot a lover as you think you are, the talk in the office will be that you easily put out under the mistletoe.
2. DO NOT WEAR YOUR SHORTEST, TIGHTEST, SKIMPIEST, TRASHIEST, SPARKLIEST, or anything that unintentionally shows your thong to the guys in the mailroom.  Not sexy, not professional.
3. DO NOT OVER-INDULGE IN THE OPEN BAR, because your boss is watching you with his blurry vision, and will say something in his slurred speech, and your response will not be anything you want to recall at your review.
4. DO NOT GET BOOTYLICIOUS on the dance floor.   Enough said.
5. DO NOT BE THE LAST ONE TO LEAVE THE PARTY, granted you might miss the hot sweaty nakedness at 3:30 am, but there is something to be said for MISSING THE NAKEDNESS at 3:30 am.
6. BRING SOMETHING TASTEFUL TO THE GIFT EXCHANGE. Happy Holidays!